Sal-mon patties (and how to get the kids to eat them)

My grandmother used to fix salmon patties frequently. She, like many Southerners, pronounced the "L" in salmon, so it sounded like SAL-mun.

Salmon patties, however you pronounce it, is another staple of Southern home cooking. Unlike low country coastal Southerners with easy access to fresh seafood, inland Southerners didn't get the chance to enjoy fresh seafood regularly (unless somebody caught a big mess of fish at the local fishing hole). Instead, inland Southerners relied on canned fish... and that usually meant salmon. Canned salmon and tuna were (and are) relatively inexpensive, so that's another reason why it became a favorite in the economically challenged South.

Here's a little trivia for you: Southern author William Faulkner's favorite dish was salmon patties!

I have plenty of memories of grandmother's salmon patties. A perfect portable food, I can remember grandmother wrapping a patty in a napkin, handing it to me ("be careful, Sugar, it's hot"), and me running outside to sit on the porch steps and eat. (I had some serious playing to do and I didn't want to be cooped up inside the house any longer than I had to.)

Gracious, do you remember when children actually played outside?

Before I wax nostalgic any longer, here is the recipe:

SAL-MON PATTIES
1 12 oz can pink salmon
2 whole eggs
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp. yellow corn meal
1/2 tsp. salt (you can add more or less, depending on your taste)
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper (adjust to taste)

Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. (You may have to use your hands.) Shape into hamburger-sized patties.

Heat about 1/4 inch of oil (or melt some shortening) in a skillet over medium heat. Place patties in the skillet (as many as possible, but with enough room to turn the patties over). Cook 3-4 minutes (or until golden brown) per side.

PART DEUX: How to get the kids to eat them

This is what worked for me. When I first introduced my kids to these, I didn't call them salmon patties.

I called them Krabby Patties.

Yes, like on Spongebob Squarepants.

And I let them drench the patties in ketchup. (Hey, whatever works.)

All the kids love these things now and they request them often.

Now you can say that you have the secret Krabby Patty formula. Just don't let Plankton know about it.

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